There are those days when you look out over the course of the day and you sigh and think, "that was a good day". Then there are others when you look out and you see the mess and you feel the weight and you can hear all the words gone unsaid and you just want to crawl under the covers and eat chocolate. When the Legos pile high and the laundry begins to have a mind of its own and the phone is incessant and then the child shouts out for 'mommy' for the 800th time. It's when my blood runs hot and I leave small people, flesh of my flesh, in my wake as the words boil over and out and scald them to the quick. I see the tremble in the chin, the flash of blue in the eyes that let me know, I've overstepped. Gentleness has not been my companion. Instead, I now, along with the Legos and laundry that remain, have added regret to the list of things to clean up. Tonight was one of those messy nights, when the hurry haunts me after the hurried-along-ones have gone to bed.
How quickly I forget the River. It's His words that bring me Life. It's His unending well that springs up in me and gives me a hope, future and the will to go on. It's His refreshing waters that cause me to start over and cleanse my heart.
The sunset was spectacular tonight and upon seeing it, the smallest said, "Let's go to the river to see it better." And we did - we ran - so as not to miss a minute, and we could see it better. And I did see it better: I need to run to the river often... yes, to the Wando, the brackish black that is winding it's way into my soul, but also to the one who made it, whose life-blood is in my veins and who becons me to His side. If I will go to Him - I always see it better.
River Redeemer - remind me to run to you - and often. Help me to take my children with me to the River, instead of to the reaming, so we can soak in all you have for us - no regrets, no haste, but a calming sense that you are with us and want us all to see You better.
Tara is Greg's girl, mom to two sons of thunder, a hunger fighter, big dreamer and worship pastor at seacoast church.