Fair warning. Confessions of a home-schooling-stay-at-home-yet-working-full-time-and-working-all-weekend-can't-get-it-all-done mom:
Today was algebra and arguments. Negative numbers and negative attitudes. Flipping fractions and flippant words. The careful and the careless. The methodical and the meaningless.
As a home schooling mom, I have the honor of teaching my children. I adore the time I get with them. I have the privilege of being with my children as they navigate their studies and life and have the ability to speak into them in ways I might not otherwise have the liberty. As a full-time career mom, I also have the privilege of getting to do what I love and the flexibility to be able to do it. Most days the balance between husband, home and heart cry is do-able. Today was not that day.
Today was that day that slammed me sideways before I had a chance to even open my eyes. We were knee deep in it by 10am. By 2:00pm we had settled in, but only after reminders and reconciliation. By 5:00pm our pace was perilous. Rushing from this to that...All good things...All things we enjoy. But the pace. The pace. By 9:00pm we were all home but the weary set in so hard it was as if we were looking for ways to offend, to be offended.
The day, however, wasn't a complete goner. I'm grateful that (although much too late into the day), I was made painfully aware that the pace, the standard I hold myself to - is just that: a standard that NO ONE ELSE is asking me to keep. Sure - the world says, "Pinterest yourself to death with crafty excellence that your children will adore you for, serve the neighbor down the street a homecooked meal after you have created a culinary wonder for your own adoring family, make your house look like you won every HGTV award, iron all your laundry, home school your children (read: don't you dare work outside of the house) and make sure you look like a supermodel while you are doing it all." (She smiles sarcastically). Yes - this is what the world tells us... IF. WE. LISTEN. Yes - these are all good, worthy and honorable things I hope to one day live up to. However, I have to make sure I'm asking myself "who told me that" and refocus, recalibrate and breathe. The Lord is pleased with me - whether I keep the plates spinning or not.
Today, plates stopped spinning... but the world didn't. I'll have (by God's grace) another day tomorrow to try again. I'm so grateful his mercies are new every morning. After all, tomorrow is just a few hours away.
Tara is Greg's girl, mom to two sons of thunder, a hunger fighter, big dreamer and worship pastor at seacoast church.