40 is promise and the 'what's next' and apparently the new 20. (I'll take it). 40 is also a shift in who I've been and allowed others to dictate that I am. I'm so me at 40.
There's a deep settling that is happening. It is coming slowly now but will descend like the rain in the weeks and months to come, I am sure. There is a settling into my skin, into who I am and who I was made to be. A resolve of heart and of purpose and mission.
Twenty was 'Who am I?'. Thirty was 'I can prove it'. Forty is 'I don't have to because I know.'
While I don't have everything figured out (far, far from it) what I do know is there are lots of growing pains that go along with this settling. Where those pains would have crippled me in my twenties and challenged me in my thirties, they are working something in me today that, I can only imagine, will craft my finest days.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25 NLT
I'm hearing myself ask questions like 'Why are we doing this?' 'What will this gain us?' and 'It is really worth it?'. All important questions that need to be stared down, not ignored as in days gone by due to a frantic unsustainable pace.
I get one chance. One chance to get this right. I don't feel pressure, I feel an obligation and an excited responsibiity to make the most of my days. They are indeed numbered.
And today is 40.
Tara is Greg's girl, mom to two sons of thunder, a hunger fighter, big dreamer and worship pastor at seacoast church.