Today it fell off the table and broke into a million pieces.
I could feel it rising in me. SERIOUSLY??? Of all peices to break in this nativity set... the baby JESUS!!!???
It certainly wasn't an expensive trinket but it was one I had grown fond of over the years. I started looking for super glue and ANALYZING all the pieces to see if repair was on the horizon. Attempt one I Glued my fingers together. Attempt two I couldn't make the pieces fit. Attempt three, with glue stained fingerprints, I set the ceramic piece upright with a gaping hole in the back. Maybe?? (crumble...). Nope... that's not going to be strong enough to hold up under it's own weight. Time for hot glue. No that's too thick. I start looking for options to make this thing work. I'm just so wanting to help all the pieces fit back together. I just want it to be the way it was - to look right. Come on Jesus - hold it together!!
Isn't that it? Sometimes are we just desperate for Jesus to hold it all together? The holidays accentuate the fact that sometimes the pieces just don't fit all back together nicely. We take our holiday smiles out of the box once a year, dust them off and hope they polish up nicely on THE shelf for the month so we can quietly stuff it back in paper for the next eleven. We position them purposely so that no one sees the gaping hole in THE back or notices the layers of glue in the cracks.
Sometimes a broken Jesus is just what we need. We need a cracked and broken picture to remind us that we are not alone. Jesus came to a cracked and broken world that was COMPLETELY falling apart at the seams and offered to stretch his arms out and break himself for us so he could hold it all TOGETHER.
Once we've been broken, things don't Go back together quite the same. Sure our lives can heal but there is always a scar - hidden or exposed - that reminds us of the break. Jesus has them too. He sees your name inscribed on his hands every day.
It's ok to let your breaks show. It's ok not to hide the cracks and the glue and the holes. Let him use all of that for the benefit of the kingdom and to remind us of his great love for us.
I MAINTAIN. I'D RATHER BE RANSACKED AND HAVE HIM PUT ME IN SHAMBLES FOR MY GOOD AND TO EXPERIENCE HIS FULLNESS THAN TO BE SPARKLY CLEAN IN THE UNEXCEPTIONAL.
This Christmas, I'm proudly putting my precious broken jesus figure on display. While he remains perfect, this trinket reminds me that even in the Cracks of my world, he is God with us - Emmanuel. Come Lord Jesus, Hold us all together.
FROM A MESSAGE GIVEN AT SEACOAST CHURCH NOVEMBER 18. 2017
I worship because it is my job.
it is my job.......but it is also your job.
I worship because it was what I was created to do ....and what you were created to do.
Long before I was a part of the worship ministry at Seacoast in a staff capacity, I knew worship was going to be a foundational part of my life. I remember in the early 90s attending a worship conference where several people that I did not know began to pray over me and call things out in my life that were only spoken between me and the Lord. As I heard words like “leader” and “Pastor” and “anointing for worship” being prayed over me - It caused a courage to rise up in me to actually live out what I already knew in my heart that I was created to do.
Although I do sense His joy when I am leading worship and singing, I also have learned to sense His presence as I have worshipped in other ways that have nothing to do with songs or lyrics or this platform: things like changing my babies diapers, doing a load of laundry, teaching in a first grade classroom, the day to day whatever is in my hand moments. I’ve been on a little journey learning that it’s all worship - and if I let Him use it - all the normal can express gratitude for a life He’s given me as I give it back to him.
I’m going to take you to the beginning at the creation account to a passage in Genesis that helped me understand worship off the platform and understand why I know We are all created to worship.
Genesis 2:7 “one day the Eternal God scooped dirt out of the ground, sculpted it into the shape we call human, breathed the breath that gives life into the nostrils of the human, and the human became a living soul.” Every day since that moment, man has been breathing back to God the breath He breathed in us. Our very living is meant to be an act of worship.
We sing a song at Seacoast where the chorus says, “it’s your breath in our lungs, so - we pour our our praise to you only”. The key word there is that tiny word “So”. It means we have to respond.
God breathed into us - so - our response is spending all the breaths of our lives after the first breathing back to the one who Created it.
Romans 12:1 in the message puts it like this “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.” There is no greater way we can glorify the Lord (which is just a fancy way to say make bigger) than to do the very thing he created us to do - worship him with our lives. In doing so - we’re showing a world that needs him desperately what he looks like when we choose to obey him in the way we were created - to worship. To breathe back.
1 Cor 12 Paul talks about how the physical body works and how that compares to us as believers. That just as a physical body needs and eye and a hand an ear and it can’t be a body full of elbows only, the body of Christ also needs all the parts (that’s us) to fulfill God’s kingdom here on earth. v 18 reads “This is where God comes in. God has meticulously put this body together; He places each part to perform the exact function He wanted”.
There are 8 billion people on earth. And He sees your heart 8 billion different ways. Your specific arrangement of gifts+talents+expression of them (not to mention your DNA) is completely unique to you on the planet at this time. No one can worship and make God bigger in the world like YOU can! And no one can worship and make God bigger in the world FOR you! only You can worship God the way You can.
According to V. 18, if you don’t use those gifts that He’s given you to glorify Him, it’s as if there is a “gap” in the kingdom where those gifts should be expressed.
It’s His breath in MY lungs and it’s my job to breathe it back to him, in only the way I can.
Backing up, v7 says “each believer has received a gift that manifests the Spirits power and presence. That gift is given for the good of the whole community.”
It’s actually our responsibility as well as a Kingdom NEED for us to operate and utilize all our gifts for the Kingdom to benefit not me, but the rest of the Kingdom - each other.
So - if that’s the case, we have absolutely no need to compare ourselves to anyone! Isn’t that incredible?! All we have to do is breathe our our lives back as worship in only the way we can and have been created to! It’s the ultimate “you be you” in the best way possible!
So practically what does that look like? In your work - you are created to worship with each creative idea or plan. Students - you are created to worship as you study and learn. Parents - you are created to worship as you guide your children and family. Seacoast - you were created to worship right here when we gather with a holy roar that shows the world we still have breath.
Let’s join those who for thousands of years have breathed back their lives - seen and unseen - in grateful response to their creator - and fulfill our purpose to worship. It’s His breath in our lungs - so how are you going to breathe it back?
DAY IN. DAY OUT. REPETITION.
THE DAILY HABITS OF FAITHFULNESS ARE WHERE THE SURRENDER IS SEALED. IN THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE, THE CHOICE FOR JESUS WAS DIFFICULT, BUT NOT ONE HE HADN'T MADE BEFORE. HE WAS ACCUSTOMED TO REGULARLY BOWING HIS AGENDA TO HIS FATHER. WHEN THE MOMENT CAME TO EITHER HIGH TAIL AND RUN TO THE HILLS OR STEP INTO ALIGNMENT WITH SACRIFICIAL SURRENDER, HIS TRACK RECORD OF OBEDIENCE WAS AS UNBLEMISHED AS HIS HEART. THE CHOICE FOR YOU WAS NOT EASY, BUT IT WAS SIMPLE. JESUS DID THE SAME THING THAT HE HAD DONE EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE. HE SAID YES. YES TO THE HEART OF HIS FATHER. YES TO LOVING HEART, SOUL, MIND AND STRENGTH. A PREMEDITATED, WILLFUL, CONSCIOUS YES THAT STARTED BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD.
PATTERNS. ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER DILIGENCE. Ordinary compliance.
That's where the obedience actually happens. It rarely is in the massive moments, typically that's just courage dressed up. It's the Daily routine of doing the hard thing. The no quit. The early morning discipline. The late night Fervor. That's where Obedience looks like submission. That's where faith is worked out and the Lord crafts the heart. That where the steel enters your spine and CALLUSES form on your knees. that's Where the deep-rooted decisions are made.
When we are routinely accustomed to abandon our lives to JEsus in the very small - over and over AND over - the relinquish in the substantial is simply muscle memory.
Don't disregard the daily. There are miracles waiting for you in the mundane.
The wilderness doesn't always look the way you think it will.
Sometimes it is completely obvious... you see it over THE horizon and you know, yep. It's coming. you steel yourself and walk right in to the necessary. Other times the wilderness arrives at your doorstep. BAM. And you're in. Most often, however, the Days of Desert come slowly. You're walking along in life minding your own business and one grain of sand at a time, the desert Takes up residence in your heart. One Day you Wake up and you rub your bone dry eyes and realize, you're in the middle of the desert and you don't remember the path that brought you There.
I wonder if the children of israel felt that way? Even in their complaining, do you think as they wandered they asked themselves in private moments 'How did we get here - really? How did we get to the place where we were so excited to be liberated and now we can't stop complaining?' Had they not seen God be faithful? Had they not sensed his rescue? Had they not experienced miracles?
Are they not so different from us?
We are liberated from our own egypts and within ear shot of the oppression, we are complaining in the desert, wandering in the wilderness unaware of how the journey unfolded. We find ourselves trying to be the provider - trying to fix all the things - instead of operating in a sober reliance on the one who Actually brought us there.
Be very clear. He hasn't left us, he's leading us there.
The Wilderness is God's Classroom. There is always discipline in the dust.
The hebrew name for the book of numbers is "in the Wilderness". It's full of specifics of how things should be ordered and life should happen but also a story of how things go awry. ultimately, it's also a tale of you and me. an aptly named story of the history that still encamps in our veins: The discounted details and the slow Drift. Over and OVer.
Don't DESPISE the Desert. He's guiding us in - sometimes quite abruptly for our own good. And although it feels like a whirlwind of wander, there is oasis and a way out at the end. Every time.
Rushing the journey cheats us of being able to carry the Earth with us on our feet as we journey to the high places - Dust we will want to remember as a monument to the Moment he took us in.....
....and When he brought us out.
"Leave this cave, and go stand on the mountainside in My presence. The Eternal passed by him. The mighty Wind Separated the mountains and crumbled every stone before the eternal. This was not a divine wind, for the eternal was not within this wind. After THE wind passed through, an earthquake shook the earth. This was not a dicine quake, for the eternal was not within this earthquake. After the earthquake was over, there was a fire. This was not a divine fire, for the Eternal was not within this fire. After the Fire died out, there was nothing but the sound of a calm breeze. And through this breeze a gentle, Quiet voice entered into Elijah's Ears. He covered his face with his cloak and went to the mouth of the cave. And behold, a voice came to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” - 1 KINGS 19:11-13
When All hell is breaking loose...What do you listen for?
You're alone. The Torrent of life is threatening to turn your world to rubble. The roar of life's deafening winds nearly knocks you off your feet. The Chaos starts.
Where are you? Why are you doing this to us?
Your earth is shaking. The steady places are no longer. The heat of all that consumes You is scorching Your soul.
Is this your presence? Are you courting me with wind and quake and fire?
Sometimes all the calamity is indeed attention getting. It jolts us into an awareness of how off track we've gotten and he will do anything he can and use all he creates speaks to us to beckon us back to his presence..
Are you Even listening? Do you care what's happening to me?
And Sometimes All the calamity is simply just noise. We glorify the wind and quiake and fire and somehow show contempt for the simplicity of the peacE - as if that could be all it takes. If we can center ourselves in the adversity and wait just wait it out - When the final echo of the pandemonium ceases - there will be a voice. That whisper will be the one that will give us strength to continue. That quiet voice will gently pull us aside as we cover our faces in desperation listen as it says to our hearts, 'Precious one, why are you here?'
What misfortune are you EMBRACING...Wind, Earthquake aNd Fire?
Or can he trust you with his silence?
IF YOU ARE A WOMAN AND YOU ARE IN WORSHIP LEADERSHIP IN ANY CAPACITY, STAND UP.
I HAVE THE HONOR OF LOOKING AFTER THE WORSHIP MINISTRY AT SEACOAST CHURCH. AS IS PAR FOR MOST CHURCHES IN AMERICA, ITS WORSHIP TEAMS ARE COMPRISED MAINLY OF AMAZING, GODLY, TALENTED MEN. I FEEL THAT PART OF MY ROLE IN THIS SEASON IS TO ENCOURAGE THE WOMEN IN OUR MINISTRY AND IN CHURCHES LIKE OURS TO STAND UP RIGHT WHERE GOD HAS PLACED THEM AND TO PUT THEIR PERSONAL STAMP ON THE WORSHIP CULTURE FOR THEIR CHURCH AND WORSHIP TEAMS.
THERE ARE NOT MANY OF US WOMEN WHO HAVE ACCEPTED THE CALL TO LEAD WORSHIP TEAMS OR GROUPS OF TEAMS. IN A WAY, WE ARE LIKE MODERN DAY PIONEERS! THIS IS ALL THE MORE REASON WE NEED TO STAND UP, TOGETHER. IF YOU ARE IN WORSHIP LEADERSHIP IN ANY CAPACITY, I FIRMLY BELIEVE WE NEED TO LEVERAGE THE DRIVING CHARACTERISTIC THAT GOD PUT INSIDE US WOMEN - THAT IS, TO BE RELATIONAL - SO THAT WE CAN DO THIS THING BETTER TOGETHER. IN MANY WAYS, I’M STILL FINDING MY OWN FEET, BUT I’M FINDING STRENGTH AND ENCOURAGEMENT FROM THE SISTERS AROUND ME WHO ALSO ARE STANDING ON THE FRONT LINES OF WORSHIP MINISTRY.
SWEET SISTER, GOD HAS DESIGNED YOU FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS AND HAS PUT A SPECIFIC SET OF GIFTS AND TALENTS IN YOUR FINGERS AND LUNGS AND BRAINS. ONLY YOU CAN DO THE WORK THAT HE HAS SPECIFICALLY CREATED FOR YOU TO DO IN YOUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE KINGDOM…BUT YOU NEED TO STAND UP AND DO IT! IF GOD HAS PLACED YOU IN A WORSHIP MINISTRY, HE NEEDS YOU TO BRING EVERY GIFT THAT HE’S PUT IN YOU TO THE WORSHIP TABLE. BRING IT TO THE MEETING. BRING IT TO THE MICROPHONE. BRING IT TO THE CONVERSATION. BRING IT TO THE TOUGH DECISION. BRING IT TO THE FRONT LINE AS YOU LEAD THE CHARGE AND CONVEY THE VISION AND LOVE THE TEAM. STAND UP.
WORSHIP WOMAN, YOU ARE AMAZING AND THE BEAUTIFUL GIFTS GOD HAS PLACED INSIDE OF YOU ARE FOR PURPOSE AND FOR NOW AND ARE NECESSARY IN YOUR LEADERSHIP ROLE. AS A FELLOW SISTER AND CO-LABORER IN MINISTRY, IT’S MY HONOR TO STAND BESIDE YOU. YOU ARE NOT MY COMPETITION, YOU ARE MY COMMADRE AND I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU. LADIES, WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS IMPORTANT. STAND UP IN WORSHIP MINISTRY AND MAKE YOUR MARK IN THE KINGDOM.
Pausing at 16.
There’s a moment in the delivery room where there’s a pause. It’s the seconds that elapse between the “It’s a boy” and the first big cry. I’m pretty sure that’s when it happens. That’s when, as a mother, you hear the sound of your own heart learn to beat outside of your body.
There’s a moment when you send them to Kindergarten where there’s a pause. It’s the seconds that elapse between their tiny hand ungrasping yours and them walking through the door without you. I’m pretty sure that’s when it happens. That’s when, as a mother, you watch the little feet you made carry them into a whole new world.
There’s a moment when you watch them struggle where there’s a pause. It’s the seconds that elapse between the raised voices and teenage sighs and the “I’m sorry’s” and the “we’re gonna make it kiddo”. I’m pretty sure that’s when it happens. That’s when, as a mother, you see the soul you desperately prayed for wrestle with all.the.things. life is throwing at them.
Today I experienced a new one. There’s a moment when they turn 16 where there’s a pause. It’s the seconds that elapse between ‘Good Morning’ and the giving of a smiling, tear streaked ’Happy Birthday, Big Man’. I’m pretty sure that’s when it happens. That’s when, as a mother, you realize that every awesome, awful, funny, painful, beautiful, broken, precious pause up to now has been leading to this one. Has shaped him. Has shaped you. And for a moment, in that pause, those same eyes that opened for the first time 16 years ago, wake to the morning and in some sleepy, strange man-voice say ‘Love you, Mama’.
And that’s when it hits you that all of life’s best moments have happened in the pause.
He will do incredible things. He will become an incredible man. But for today, I’m living in this pause and celebrating all that has come.
Ethan, I’m so proud of who you are becoming in these pauses of your life. You are loved beyond anything you can imagine. Happy Birthday, Big Man…16 is looking good on you.
Today is Day 1.
Yesterday marked the end of a school year that, as a wife, mom and a homeschooling mom, sent me into a total tailspin.
Sure, we had victories and some high fives. Yes, there were difficult school classes and fun but challenging assignments. There were projects and papers and tests. There was cramming and last minute deadlines. There were crayons and glue and scissors. But in the midst of all that normal school stuff and to-be-expected, we also experienced some normal *life* stuff: personal family loss and fear and out-of-the-blue-what-ifs and foundation-shaking moments from which we are still digging out.
Have you been there too? You know the ones I'm talking about? The school ones where you look at each other over tear stained text books and say 'how did we get here?' And those other times you stand motionless in each other's presence after unspeakable personal loss and say 'what do we do now?' Yeah. That was us. All. Year. Long. Blow after blow - school, family, personally, we couldn't seem to catch a break.
So tonight when the sun was speeding towards its resting place on the river's edge, I stood with those that my heart fights for and I stopped. I breathed deep the brackish air and let my lungs be filled not only with air..but hope... confident of the necessity of both to keep me alive.
I was reminded of the great promises that joy comes in the morning. That mercies are new. That faithfulness is great and comes every single day. That our worst days are writing the preface of the story of our best days to come. That I needed this sunset to set my heart on the anticipation of the sunrise of Day 2 and it would write a new better story.
It just had to.
So tonight at midnight as Day 1 of a new year turns to Day 2, not only does the date turn, but so does my heart. I'm thankful for the start of something new and confident in my declaration and proclaim with boldness, 'It's a new day now. Come on mercy, come on strength!' And to the precious ones for which my heart beats and fights ... hear me: We're going to make it little ones. Grab the hands of your family and let's walk this thing out ... together.
Day 2 is on the way.
Day 2 is here.
That’s how I heard the end of our weekend service once described. I took it as an overwhelming vote of confidence and as the upmost compliment. Our congregation was responding.
As Seacoast Church, we believe that the Word of God is living and active (Heb. 4:12). We also believe that as hearers of the word, it calls us to action (James 1:22). Worship, as an extension of the Word through song should be the same. When the two have an opportunity to collide; what God says plus a response to it through worship, there should be some action involved. While I agree that worship should be authentically expressed, I’m not talking about how demonstrative or not one chooses to be during the musical part of our services. I’m actually talking about simply actively responding to Jesus in an authentic way. In the Church today, I see worship as an active, living response to an active, living Word from an active, living God.
At the end of each of our weekend services, we give people an opportunity to respond to what the Lord has spoken to them during the message. Our speaking Pastor will end the message by saying, “What is God saying to you and what are you going to do about it?”. That’s when the activity begins in what we call “Response Time”.
Throughout each of the rooms where the 13 campuses meet, there are what we call “Response Stations”: paper and pens where people can pin notes to a cross, candles to light for intercessory prayer, communion stations, prayer teams, and opportunities to give tithes and offerings. Each is optional, but each requires some kind of action. Some will stay in their seats while the first worship song starts, some will immediately move to a response station, but there is motion and purpose behind it all. The physical act of ‘doing something about it’ helps to cement what the Lord is saying in the heart of the hearer. We end our services with two or three worship songs as people are responding and finish with a celebratory declaration of all He’s done.
Worship in the Church today takes many forms and can be found in multiple sounds, styles and genres. All have a place and all, if appropriately expressed, can help to point us to Jesus. What I love about worship, as a lifestyle and as the musical part of our services, is that it absolutely demands that we DO something. Worship is an external response to a Holy God; the created expressing thanks to the Creator.
Demonstratively dancing and raising your hands or quietly sitting alone listening to the words of a worship song, worship in the Church today is all about actively pursuing Jesus. How you choose to express that actually isn’t as important as the extent to which you’re willing to engage. I firmly believe that what we choose to do with what God gives us today will determine the depth of what He can do with it tomorrow. I love the way our church has created space for us to be able to respond, act and engage with Him at the end of our services. It’s a beehive of activity but one that is making way for the Lord to do amazing things among us as we actively pursue Him.
This was written on the first day of Ethan's freshman year in high school in August of 2015.
Today is the last day of his freshman year of high school.... and we made it... and x=30 all. year. long.
(And he made a B+ in Geometry). -tb
It came today before my eyes were even open. As I peered out with one eye from behind the covers, I knew.
“Not today, Lord. Not today.”
A massive headache was already on the move. But I didn’t have time for a headache. Today was tightly calculated, which-parent-was-taking-which-child-where kind of day, and it all revolved around a day with no headache.
Maybe today a headache was actually the sweet grace of my Jesus who knew I needed to have a headache in order to keep my heart distracted. Today would be yet one more time in a series of years where I’ve had to let my vulnerable heart beat outside of my body.
In the still of this morning, as I walked into the dark room and sat down on the side of the bed of my first born, I saw a tiny baby in a 14 year old’s body. In a flash, I watched him learn to crawl, walk, run, speak, kick a ball, pack a lunch and study Geometry. And it all happened just that fast. Faster than I could make the memories out in my mind, it all happened. Today was the first day of High School. High School. He’s going to rock it like he’s done so many things before, I have no doubt, but as I look at him I can’t help but wonder, where has the last 14 years gone? How have we been so busy enjoying a great life that we went to bed and opened our eyes and woke to the first day of high school?
Last night he was nervous and the preliminary work he had been asked to do rattled him. Everything was different… teachers, school, expectations, friends, books, uniforms, schedules. Everything.
While working through a Geometry review to get him ready, he had slumped over his massive book in defeat, blonde hair falling over his arm that looked all the sudden shockingly large. He looked at me with those steely blue eyes and said, “Mom, I don’t know. I. Just. Don’t. Know.”
All his doubt over a Geometry problem and starting high school was the sum total of how I felt about him getting older. I.Just.Don’t.Know. that I can do it. I don’t know that I can let him fail forward and make decisions and watch him begin, ever so slowly, to leave the nest.
I said something motherly that I cannot recall at just about the same time his eyes focused on the polygon before him.
“Oh?” I said.
“Oh wait… I totally get it… this isn’t hard. x=30.”
(Smiling). “Yes love, x=30. You CAN do this. You know how to figure it out. God is with you and you are going to rock this. Not just problem #5, but all of it.”
“Yeah (smiling). I guess I will.”
So this morning, as I sat on the side of his bed, when my head was pounding as fast as the heart in my throat, I told the Lord that X was going to = 30 all year long. That I was going to rock this release and that my first born who was looking all of 25 at the moment was going to rock it as well.
Later that morning, we made a promise to each other as he shut the car door and walked into school. X=30. We would remind each other of God’s faithfulness. X=30. We could do this. X=30. When things were great…X=30. When things were completely falling apart…X still = 30.
We locked eyes. I pointed straight at him from across the parking lot and half shouted my charge.
“X=30, baby. X=30.”
He looked at me with those steely blue eyes, ran his hands through his hair, half smiled and said, “I love you, Mom. It sure does.”
Tara is Greg's girl, mom to two sons of thunder, a hunger fighter, big dreamer and worship pastor at seacoast church.